Friday, November 03, 2006

A BALL-BUSTING CHALLENGE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS - Mini-sagas

Untitled
by Pickled Olives

I fear death. Momma had always told me that you can’t cheat Death; he’ll always come when it’s time. She repeated this often. Over the years I have contemplated this advice. As the cold air swirled, and lights flickered, then began to fade, Death should have watched that third step.
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A Man Misguided
by leelee

A spineless man finally took a stand. For the insecure woman he married, he turned his back on parents, friends and children. When she finally left him, he found himself alone and penniless; orphaned by his parents, disowned by his friends and disrespected by his children. Death was a relief.
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Swooshing Relief
by JSB

Josh ate. Over the years he ate copiously. Enormity ensued and he couldn’t leave the bed; his bones wouldn’t support his weight. A “binding” feeling pained him. His elephantine buttocks were spread to administer an enema. Sweet relief followed when a family of five and their yapping dog swooshed out.
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Primo Shit
by JSB

Graduation night, Templeton left for the big city. Over the next five years, he worked and bedded a bevy of beauties. One day he returned to his hometown searching for his former best friend. He was now a cop and Templeton knew the po-po sold the most primo weed.
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I Didn't Know I was Bald Until I opened Eyes in the Burn Unit
by Odat

I dated a blind man. He used his cane for everything. Once he used it for a stoker to add more heat to the room, then used it to scratch his head. He is now president of the Men's Hair Club of America.
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Slick
by Pope Ben

Jacqueline's arm stretched behind her to the night stand, a half pack of cigarettes just out of reach. The musky smell and the slick feel of her skin were not out of place against the small, dingy hotel room.

"This was the last time," she thought. But knew it wasn't.
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The Blue Iceman Cometh
by Crankster

Jake smiled into the bathroom mirror. In forty years, he’d progressed from a malfunctioning condom to a grown up with a wife and three children (two “miscalculations,” one intentional). Shaving under his lip, he never heard the chunk of blue ice that smashed through the ceiling, ending his story.
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Untitled
by Ramo

It was a new world. Still warm, the yellow hills rose from the clean calm water, with tall ivory walls surrounding on all sides. Various lifeforms stayed busy on the hilly soft surface. Future seemed limitless. Then, the ivory walls swelled with water and the world went inside toilet pipe.
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Strange Relationship
by leelee

They met at his party. Within a month, he claimed he loved her. They spent every moment together. She asked him to quit Match.com and vacationing with unknown women.

“You are obviously clingy and insecure,” he said.
“I need more sex,” she said.
“I’m feeling asexual,” he said.
“Buh-bye.”
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The Pineapple That Ate My Youth
by Pawlie Kokonuts

My heart was taken by Louise at the pencil sharpener. She ignored me. Miss Sterling put on a play. Louise was a princess. On stage, I prepared to offer her a pineapple. “I present you this --” Dennis the bully whispered, “Grapefruit,” which I repeated. Everyone roared. Except me. And Louise.

8 comments:

Pickled Olives said...

Wow! These are amazingly creative people in this post!!! Great stories and intersting perspectives!!

Lee said...

Cool huh?! I love how creative bloggers are. :)

Crankster said...

Dry humor and scatology...I love these submissions! This was a great idea.

Lee said...

Crap! Now I gotta go look up "scatology."

Odat said...

Excellent!!! Thanks for putting this together...and damn..I forgot a title! How bout "I Didn't Know I was Bald Until I opened Eyes in the Burn Unit".....
Peace

Lee said...

Excellent Odat...I shall add it!

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Lee, I submitted my story to you as an email.

Lee said...

Got it Mr. Kokonuts! Very nice....and kinda sad. Thanks very much for playing!